Pappa wants mamma naked
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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