So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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