I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
