It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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