Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
