I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
