Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
