so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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