i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
