Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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