He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
