i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
