I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
