5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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