You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
