we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Randomize
