I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
