its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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