shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
