he wants to bone in the snuggie
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize