i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
