you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
