the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you made out with another girl for some wings
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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