Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we're chasing vodka with high fives
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Two words: blizzard sex
The power of my boobs compel you
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
