A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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