hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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