you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize