do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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