i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
