dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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