That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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