My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
