I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
