Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
