dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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