look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
