Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
