You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We need to rekindle our bromance
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
