the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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