I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
