omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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