You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
