i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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