Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she pinky promised me she was 18
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
