Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize