pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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