Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize