i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
