Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
