Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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