Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
