he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
