you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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