Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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