i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
