I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
