Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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