Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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