wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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