ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
