Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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